Lunatic Rodent
Rodent just wrote another entry in his blog, annoucing their shocking decision of letting XT starting a new job in Beijing.
At our dinner party last night, I entertained everybody with a dream I had on Sunday morning. It was of Rodent jumping off a tall building (by mistake, or so I thought), and I felt that he couldn't survive. When I looked down with apprehension, he was dropping slowly, as if in a cartoon. He looked at me, smiled, and waved goodbye. He landed on a terrace a few floors from the ground and disappeared. I went home, wondering whether to break the news to his parents, and how to phrase it. I decided to hold off on this for a few days, and later, somebody vaguely told me that Rodent was alive, after all.
People were not amused. Rodent's smile looked forced. I didn't know then but today when I read his blog, I realized that my dream happened "independently" a few hours after he learned of the news himself. There is no way this is a pure freaky coincidence. In the 3+ years I've known Rodent this is the first time I've dreamed about him.
Once I had thought the Rodent couple had the most stable relationship in our friend circle. They had reached an equilibrium, where the chance of his finding a prettier wife, or her finding a smarter husband, was epsilon. AND they lived together.
Now with this extra information, I have to re-evaluate it. Suddenly it becomes the most shaky one, not just because of the two recent breakups Rodent mentioned. If their relationship were a stock, I'm lowering my rating from "strong buy" to "hold", and I'm being polite.
So what kind of a friend am I, speaking freely of my premonitions instead of being understanding and supportive?
A friend who has seen too many long distance relationships fail to stay naive as the Rodent couple is right now. I have yet to see a long distance couple who are content and happy with the situation, and my sample size is large enough to be statistically significant.
When I was younger I believed what romance novels told us, that relationships become all the stronger and more valuable for all the hardships they suffered. After I grew up I knew those are all wishful thinking. A relationships is like the piece of expensive discontinued china in our home. For the most time we let it sit safely in the showcase. We entertain only the best friends with it. We are scared of putting it into the microwave or dishwasher. God forbid if anyone suggests that we use it in the oven.
Now the Rodent couple is going to put their piece into the wind tunnel.
Oh Rodent, what should I call you? An incorrigible idealist? A saint? A fool?
A blog entry is like a snapshot, it captures the moment. At this moment, R and I are worried sick for the Rodent couple. We both feel that the family should take the highest priority and a few unfulfilled dreams are small prices to pay for a life with each other together, everyday. But of course, people have different value systems and risk assessments. What we could do is to express our concerns up front, and then shut up after their decision is made.
Hopefully someday later we could all read this entry together and laugh about it. What are the odds?
At our dinner party last night, I entertained everybody with a dream I had on Sunday morning. It was of Rodent jumping off a tall building (by mistake, or so I thought), and I felt that he couldn't survive. When I looked down with apprehension, he was dropping slowly, as if in a cartoon. He looked at me, smiled, and waved goodbye. He landed on a terrace a few floors from the ground and disappeared. I went home, wondering whether to break the news to his parents, and how to phrase it. I decided to hold off on this for a few days, and later, somebody vaguely told me that Rodent was alive, after all.
People were not amused. Rodent's smile looked forced. I didn't know then but today when I read his blog, I realized that my dream happened "independently" a few hours after he learned of the news himself. There is no way this is a pure freaky coincidence. In the 3+ years I've known Rodent this is the first time I've dreamed about him.
Once I had thought the Rodent couple had the most stable relationship in our friend circle. They had reached an equilibrium, where the chance of his finding a prettier wife, or her finding a smarter husband, was epsilon. AND they lived together.
Now with this extra information, I have to re-evaluate it. Suddenly it becomes the most shaky one, not just because of the two recent breakups Rodent mentioned. If their relationship were a stock, I'm lowering my rating from "strong buy" to "hold", and I'm being polite.
So what kind of a friend am I, speaking freely of my premonitions instead of being understanding and supportive?
A friend who has seen too many long distance relationships fail to stay naive as the Rodent couple is right now. I have yet to see a long distance couple who are content and happy with the situation, and my sample size is large enough to be statistically significant.
When I was younger I believed what romance novels told us, that relationships become all the stronger and more valuable for all the hardships they suffered. After I grew up I knew those are all wishful thinking. A relationships is like the piece of expensive discontinued china in our home. For the most time we let it sit safely in the showcase. We entertain only the best friends with it. We are scared of putting it into the microwave or dishwasher. God forbid if anyone suggests that we use it in the oven.
Now the Rodent couple is going to put their piece into the wind tunnel.
Oh Rodent, what should I call you? An incorrigible idealist? A saint? A fool?
A blog entry is like a snapshot, it captures the moment. At this moment, R and I are worried sick for the Rodent couple. We both feel that the family should take the highest priority and a few unfulfilled dreams are small prices to pay for a life with each other together, everyday. But of course, people have different value systems and risk assessments. What we could do is to express our concerns up front, and then shut up after their decision is made.
Hopefully someday later we could all read this entry together and laugh about it. What are the odds?
posted by moira at 11:43 PM
3 Comments:
Odds, yeah, recently playing online Poker, I am realizing that life is a gamble. . . but sometime when you realize it, the die has already been cast.
From the very beginning I have mentioned to Rodent that if Moira ever knows this, she would strongly discourage them. . .
yet as a friend i think i can express my feelings freely, as Moira did:
I would, if in his shoes, with zero hesitation make the same decision as Rodent. Freedom and your beloved one's dream is worth more than the relationship. period.
Alea jacta est . . .
Que sera sera . . .
Almighty Google told me:
The die is cast
What will be will be
No matter what opinions were provided, they're treasured the same. Both of you have had similar experiences on the matter, yet providing drastically different opinions, that's the magic of life. I will enjoy while I can, and sober when I have to.
Moira, first of all, I only recently started reading your blogs and really enjoy it. I'm eating dinner and reading it now and I hardly do that.
As someone who once went through a lot of long-distance relationship, I almost feel obligated to cast my opinion to be the same as yours, Moira, and I hope this can get passed to Rodent and XT.
Moira has summarized it all precisely. What I've learned from my experience is being able to see my beloved one everyday is the single thing that makes everyday so much more worthwhile to look forward to. Life is short and pick what makes you a happier person.
My advice is if she is really the one for you and you are the one for her, then you two should get together ASAP :)
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